Poetry by Candlelight

  How does one become terrified to feel anything without needing precedents, Of rarely allowing happiness to coat the walls of forlorn decadence, Even a seemingly innocent ray of sunshine seems like the ultimate trap, a trance of pain Before losing everything all over again... When catching my soft smiles in my reflection, I snuff them out like a sweet candle, feeling small. Because what if all of this was never mine to possess? What if I am here, living on borrowed time, a life so useless That my carefully crafted plans are merely frivolous wishes plotting my eventual fall? When barely coping, unable to feel pride in how far I have come, My lethargic body is awakened by the crippling thought that this will never feel like home. So, I inevitably lose myself in the small hours, Letting in the warmth of ancient words, a cemetery revived by vibrant flowers. I cannot help but ruminate, Entertaining the hapless notion that perhaps I never had a chance, that it is too late, Something pul...