POURING YOUR HEART OUT

I stared at the corner of the lively room,

Standing there, busy with my frivolous thoughts.

Soon enough, all I could hear was your soft voice, asking hesitantly:

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?".

I witnessed it all.

I saw your little heart crack, hardening for the years to come.

I saw how your head dropped.

I saw your wide, innocent eyes slide to the floor tiles.

I should have handled your bare heart with care,

But it was not safe in my hands.

I was already holding. 

The one from the boy who never looked my way.

My eyes never ceased to fixate on him

While you looked at me from across the room.

I was distracted,

Too naive, too careless.

Even now, I wonder if I still have a home in your mind, in your memories.

Maybe you have learnt how to forget, to bury things so deep

They do not exist anymore.

Or have I left a deeper scar?

My mind forces me to get on with my life.

My heart refuses to let go.

A million what-ifs take hold of me,

Like a rope wrapped around my wrist, dragging me into cruel past times.