ABYSS

 

I'm all smiles, I always was.

Glowing with the dazzle of youth and innocence,

Being kind of stubborn and wild,

Yet a careless free spirit, a precious,

Tender soul, with nothing but love to give.

One that never failed 

In brightening everyone's days,

Including the rotten ones that didn't deserve,

Not even my regard.

What I look like from the outward of my being,

Does not even get close

To the black, dusty clouds 

Surrounding my mind for the time being.

I'm well aware

I apparent many things.

None of them get even close to reality.

I don't even try that hard anymore,

To hide my emotions,

Because I'm used to be this way,

So it doesn't really matter anymore,

I guess nothing ever does

When you feel sheerly empty.

But at the same time I feel so trapped.

As if I was in a cage,

Between bars.

Or like I just drowned

Into a vast ocean I cannot escape.

With no forcefulness

To get rid

Of the chains that hold a tight grip over me,

nor familiar arms to appease my fears.

When I think it is going to get better,

It doesn't but make me fall deeply,

Despite my vain efforts,

Into a savage place, clearly not one dear,

But one I hate immensely,

An abyss...